Before I got involved with The Siren (waaaay back in January 2011!), I didn’t have a clue about how the Students’ Union worked. So after a solid week of reporting on campaigns as well as hustings and the results themselves; it’s all a bit of a blur when I try to remember everything that went on.

What I do remember is the excitement on campus and the incredible amount of hard work that went into each campaign. The image of students dodging round banners and some even breaking into a sprint to get away from a candidate yelling “vote for me!” is pretty hard to forget.

For a lot of students though, it’s difficult to be sure about exactly how the Union works and who does what, so we’ve written up the most important things you need to know, as well as including the list of candidates running for full-time officer positions this year.

FTO definition

A Full-Time Officer is a role that is paid. Officers are elected for a year to lead and direct different areas of Union activity. Together with members of Students’ Union staff, they form the senior staff team that handles the day-to-day running of the Union and its activities. They are elected to represent students at the university and ensure your welfare is always at the forefront of all Union services.

Who can vote?

As a student you are automatically a member of the Students’ Union, so ALL Swansea University students can vote. Just use your intranet login and password to register your vote.

If you’re not sure about the role of each full-time officer, check out the details of each position below.

PRESIDENT

There isn’t a hierarchical structure to the Students’ Union,  but the President is expressed as the lead officer. As lead Union officer the President is the key contact for the University, National Union of Students and the local community.

Key Roles

1. Lead a team of Full-time Officers and co-ordinate the campaigning/political activities of the Executive Committee.

2. Secure effective student representation throughout the University, local community and nationally.

3. Chairs the Trustee Board.

4. Promote the Union and ensure good personal representation in both actions and policies.

5. Leading, encouraging and supporting colleagues in their roles and campaigns.

6. Ensure that the constitution is both utilised effectively and developed regularly.

7. Encourage students in Union elections and ensure that elections are well publicised to both prospective candidates and voters.

8. Assist executive officers in their roles and remits.

9. Chair the Union Executive Committee and Student Forums.

10. Work closely with the Student Representation & Campaigns Co-ordinator.

11. Represent the views of the students regardless of personal opinions.

SOCIETIES & SERVICES OFFICER

The Societies and Services Officer is focused on ensuring that societies gain fair representation and support from the Union. Alongside this, the Societies and Services officer is focused upon ensuring that students get value for money from their Union. All full-time officers are responsible for the Unions finances, but this officer is the key liaison with the Finance Office.

Key Roles

1. This officer works closely with the Unions Finance Manager and chairs the Finance and Resources Committee, working alongside the Finance department to ensure sound financial practice by both officers and staff.

2. Ensure all financial decisions of the Union are passed through the Union’s Democratic Structures and present final audited accounts to the Union’s AGM.

3. This officer is the lead officer for supporting, advising and overseeing the Union’s societies.

4. To assist societies in increasing the educational and recreational activities available to Swansea students; working with the University to ensure recognition of the contribution students make through activities and the importance of societies as part of the student experience.

5. Work closely with all societies support and training department, to ensure adequate training for society executive committee members.

6. Monitor the expenditure of societies and ensure a fair allocation of grants.

7. Promote the Union and ensure good personal representation in both actions and policies.

8. Work closely with the Student Development & Societies Co-ordinator.

9. Represent the views of the students regardless of personal opinion.

SPORTS OFFICER

The Sports Officer is focused on overseeing the running of sports clubs on campus and ensuring that sports team members gain fair representation and support from the Union and University.

Key Roles

1. This officer is the lead officer for supporting, advising and overseeing the Union’s sports clubs.

2. To assist sports members in increasing the educational and recreational activities available to Swansea students; working with the University to ensure recognition of the contribution students make through activities and the importance of sport as part of the student experience.

3. Assist with organising sports tournaments and conferences throughout the year, including the annual Swansea versus Cardiff Varsity event.

4. Work closely alongside the Welfare Officer to implement healthy living campaigns.

5. Act as the main point of communication between BUCS and sports clubs.

6. Contribute to the sporting strategy of the University.

7. Tender and maintain sports contracts with external companies.

8. Promote the Union and ensure good personal representation in both actions and policies.

9. Represent the views of the students regardless of personal opinion.

INTERNATIONAL AND OVERSEAS OFFICER

The International Officer must be a student of non-UK nationality. The International Officer works to ensure the integration of home and international students at the University. They will ensure international students are represented in University forums, meetings and committees and that any changes proposed by the University have a positive effect on the international student experience.

Key Roles

1. Responsible for ensuring representation of international students both locally and nationally and on all University committees that have an impact on the international student experience.

2. Work closely with the University’s International Office and International Students Advisory Service to ensure fair representation for International Students.

3. Encourage awareness of culture and diversity across campus and promote events that are diverse in nature and accessible to all students – particularly non-alcoholic events.

4. Work closely with the Societies and Services Officer in supporting international societies.

5. Promote the Union and ensure good personal representation in both actions and policies.

6. Work alongside fellow officers, the University and other supportive external bodies (where appropriate) to facilitate an ‘Internationalisation’ agenda that accommodates all Swansea University students. In doing so the International Officer should actively promote work placements/internships and study opportunities abroad amongst all Swansea University students. Protect the access to, quality and diverse choice of foreign language provision available at the University.

WOMEN’S OFFICER

The Women’s Officer is focused upon ensuring that women students are well supported and represented both on campus and nationally. In fulfilling this role women students will be informed of the issues that may affect them and the support and advice available to them. The Womens’ campaign believes that women should be treated as equals and that a society without discrimination is beneficial to all. The officer must self–define as a woman.

Key Roles

1. Responsible for running and co-ordinating campaigns relating to women’s liberation including; Equal pay, Employment Opportunities, Anti-Domestic Violence, Personal Safety, Womens’ Health, Pro- Choice, Pregnancy and Harassment etc.

2. Work towards combating discrimination to women within the University and wider society.

3. Work closely with the Advice Centre and ensure its awareness amongst students.

4. Use evidence such as the NUS Hidden Marks report to inform campaigns.

5. Promote the Union and ensure good personal representation in both actions and policies.

6. Act as mentor and lead officer contact for the Liberations Officers and ensure support for their campaigns.

7. Work closely with the Student Representation & Campaigns Coordinator.

8. Represent the views of the students regardless of personal opinions.

WELFARE OFFICER

The Welfare Officer provides support and representation for all Swansea University students during their time here. In fulfilling this role students will be informed of the risks which face them and the support and advice available to them.

Key Roles

1. Co-ordinate campaigns and raise awareness of issues relating to welfare, housing and safety issues, finance and student health.

2. Work closely with the Advice Centre and ensure students are aware of the service.

3. Focus on community relations working closely alongside the PR and Marketing Coordinator to help promote the Union externally.

4. Work closely with the Liberations Officers and support their campaigns.

5. Work with the University to ensure adequate welfare provision and support is provided for students.

6. Assist the Environment and Ethics Officer in the development of the University and Union towards ethical and environmentally sound working practices.

7. Work closely with the Student Representation & Campaigns Coordinator.

8. Represent the views of the students regardless of personal opinion.

EDUCATION OFFICER

The Education Officer is focused upon ensuring that our students are getting
the most out of their education – both locally at the University, and nationally.

Key Roles

1. Work on campaigns to fight for fair and affordable fees for all Swansea students.

2. Work to fight for a fair funding system throughout the United Kingdom alongside NUS.

3. Promote the Union and ensure good personal representation in both actions and policies.

4. Work alongside the Advice Centre to support students in cases of academic appeal.

5. Work closely with the International Officer on campaigns ensuring fair and affordable fees for international students.

6. Organises and chairs the Course Representatives Assembly.

7. Be the Unions representative with academic departments across campus.

8. Work in partnership with the careers service and similar agencies to assist graduate employment.

9. Encourage student focus for all academic facilities such as LIS.

10. Work closely with the Student Representation & Campaigns Coordinator.

11. Represent the views of the students regardless of personal beliefs.

At the close of nominations on the 23rd of February 2012 at 5pm, the following students stand as nominated candidates:

President

Mitch THEAKER
Tom UPTON

Societies & Services Officer

Tom GIFFARD
Owain HARRIES
Joshua HAYMAN
Martha KIFF
Steve RALPH
Hamish SIMMIE
Dave “Mr T” TOWNSEND

Education Officer

Ian MORGAN
Zahid RAJA 

Welfare Officer

Charlotte BRITTON
Chinemere John EZE

Women’s Officer

Millie BALKAN
Izzy GRANVILLE
Pearl SANGHA
Rebecca WARRILLOW

International Officer

V.R.S.A.Mahaboob BASHA
Kayla BATES

Sports Officer

Dan “Flash” RYAN-LOWES
Zac SHAYLAR
Imogen STANLEY

Voting begins on the 20th of March at 8am and closes 22nd March at 8pm

The results will be announced from 9pm on the 22nd March 2012

Any issues, questions or concerns get in touch with Shona Vrac Lee at administrator@swansea-union.co.uk or Matthew Hurst at matthewhurst@swansea-union.co.uk

You can find out about the  rules for elections and more details on the inner workings of the Students’ Union on the Swansea University Students’ Union website.

Pete Philly and Perquisite 

Who?

It’s in the name, sort of. Pieter Monzon “Pete Philly” (born 1980 in Aruba) is the MC and Pieter Perquin “Perquisite” (born 1982 in Amsterdam) plays the cello and writes/produces the music.

What?

They’re a hiphop duo, but both had musical careers before joining forces. Their first EP came out in 2003 to critical acclaim.

Sounds like…

Hiphop, natch, with jazz, broken beats and a bit of soul thrown in for good measure.

Where can I listen?

Spotify has most of their tracks, if not all, uploaded on the site. (Their 2007 album Mystery Repeats is superb.)  They’re no longer working as a duo so you won’t catch them touring any time soon, but they’re still working on individual projects.  

Film 

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

Who?

Francine Parker, Stephen Andrews,Roger DeMarco and Peter Washington. (We don’t know either.)

What?

Essentially the same plot as the 2004 remake by Zack Snyder, but more like its distant zombie cousin Shaun of the Dead. University is the place to watch classic cult movies, and this is one of the greatest.

Looks like…

“They kill for one reason: They kill for food!”

Where can I watch?

They stock ‘em in them there shopping malls. Just watch out for zombies.

Literature

Playing Sardines (Michele Roberts)

Who?

A lot of “who’s” actually- this is a collection of short stories.

What?

Something critic Alfred Hickling fondly referred to as “larder-lit”, meaning “a smorgasbord of short stories with a culinary twist”.

Looks like…

Michele Roberts suggest that anyone excited by complex foodie recipes is well-suited to plan the perfect murder. So watch out for the editor, folks, she’s dangerous.

Where can I read it?

Amazon, Waterstones- where all the cool kids go. Probably best to make a trip to Tesco on the way back- Roberts’ skill at describing food will have you feeling peckish.

Events

Brother and Bones @ Sin City

Who? 

Rich Thomas (vocals/acoustic guitar), Si Robinson (backing vocals/bass), James Willard (backing vocals/electric guitar), Yiannis Sachinis (drums), and Robin Howell-Sprent (drums/percussion).

What? 

A five-man band building a good rep for good performances and and a hard-to-compare sound (in a good way). They’re at Sin on Saturday- doors open at 7.30pm.

How do I get in?

Tickets are £5, available on the door.

The design for the new centre, which is expected to open to the public in autumn

Bay Leisure Ltd will create a partnership with Swansea University to manage the venture that is set to open opposite St Helen’s ground in Swansea this autumn. Central to the partnership’s winning bid was their focus on creating an a year-round community facility focused on making the most of sporting opportunities both in the sea and on the adjoining beach.

The centre will offer a range of sports to individuals of all ability levels including windsurfing, kayaking, kite surfing, open water swimming and stand up paddle boarding.

The great expanse of beach on Swansea Bay also means that beach sports and activities will play an equally important role in the proposed programme which will include sports such as beach volleyball, beach rugby, beach football as well as more casual activities such as petanque, frisbee and kiting.

The centre will focus on providing a community facility that is inclusive and accessible to everyone. The facilities will include a café, changing facilities, toilets and a multi-function room on site. The centre will also include a state-of-the-art Changing Places toilet for use by people with multiple or profound disabilities – one of the only foreshore facilities of its kind in Wales.

Richard Proctor, Chief Executive of Bay Leisure Ltd, said: “This development is a great coup for Swansea and provides the city with an excellent opportunity to develop Swansea’s reputation as providing some of the best water sports experiences in the UK. With the addition of the beach based activities, this centre will be a great asset to the local community. We hope to make it even easier to have a go at a wide range of sports and activities, all available right on your doorstep.

“This a highly prestigious contract that reflects Bay Leisure and the University’s commitment to the area. We’re really looking forward to working closely with Swansea University in our partnership and creating a world-class community facility.”

Swansea Council awarded the management contract to the Bay Leisure Ltd and Swansea University partnership after a rigorous selection process. There will be no financial assistance or subsidy from the council to run the centre and any profits made will be re-invested back into the centre.

Councillor Graham Thomas, Swansea Council’s Cabinet Member for Culture, Recreation and Tourism, said: “This centre for watersports is part of a package of projects that will make Swansea Bay a Centre of Excellence for Watersports. Swansea already has a terrific reputation as a home to watersports activity and this centre will further raise the city’s profile.

“I’m sure the working partnership with Bay Leisure Ltd and Swansea University will lead to a tremendously successful venture that will enhance Swansea’s status as a must-visit destination for outdoor activities.”

Construction work has already started on the centre with completion expected late this summer with a view to opening to the public in the autumn.

A total of 74 universities competed and must now wait to hear the results for the final positions.

The Randori Nationals are regarded as one of the largest Jiu Jitsu events in the world and is fully recognised by the British Jiu Jitsu Organisation. While essentially working as a student-based event, it also holds competitions against non-students, and pits the skills of one opponent against another in a series of knock-out rounds where each winner goes on to the next stage of competition.

The Swansea University Club won a total of 8 medals between the 25 team members who entered in the competition, with 4 gold medals, 2 silvers, 3 bronzes, and 2 mentions (4^th place).

Team Captain David Townsend was proud of the entire team and spoke with The Siren about his thoughts on the overall result.

“Everyone, whether they won a medal or not, showed extreme talent and courage over adversity,” he said.

“They demonstrated pure technique and have obviously learned a lot from being on the team and working together. This is a watermark in what the club can achieve from complete novices all the way up to expert, and it just goes to show that absolutely anyone can learn and do Jiu Jitsu- male, female, children, adults- anyone.

“Those who won medals… I’m extremely proud of them. We put a lot of effort and time into training. The performances on the day were fantastic, and I think some of the team even surprised themselves with just how well they did.”

The team won the BUCS shield in 2011; an achievement that no other Swansea University Jiu Jitsu team has made in the 26 years of the club’s inception. Over the past year they have swiftly become the main contenders in competitive events around the UK, with their main rival being the University College London team.

Apart from a slight problem with the hotel, which didn’t provide the breakfast the team was hoping for, the weekend was a huge success.

“It’s turned into a bit of a running joke,” Townsend explained. “The hotel we were staying at didn’t have any bacon, and this has happened for two years in a row. We weren’t very happy about it but that was the only hiccup we had for the entire weekend. We’ll make sure to bring our own next time!”

Discussing his hopes for the club in the future, Townsend said that he’d like to see even more people signing up to learn the martial art.

“The club is incredibly diverse already but I’d like to try and make it even more so with every aspect. I want to see more people join and pick up Jiu Jitsu as well as to start getting involved in even more competitions and events.”

Listed below is the full list of the team members who won medals or mentions at the Randori Nationals

Kostantins Lazars: (Novice ground fighting): Gold Medal (Heavy weight)

Idris Birch: (Yellow belt ground fighting): Gold Medal (Middle weight)

Joe Kershaw: (Yellow belt ground fighting): Bronze Medal (Light weight)

Gordon Cummings: (Orange belt ground fighting): Bronze medal (Light weight)

Katrine Salomonsen: (Green belt standing & ground): 4th place mentions (Heavy weight)

Leon Nell: (Yellow belt fighting- light blue standing category): Silver Medal (Heavy weight)

Katie Palmer: (Yellow belt fighting- open category): Silver Medal (All weight categories)

Russ Marsh: (Purple belt standing- light blue category): Gold medal (Middle weight)

David Townsend: (Purple belt ground- light blue category): Gold Medal (Middle weight)

Champions: Swansea University’s Jiu Jitsu Club

Click on the links to see some of the performances at the Randori Nationals

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjF1D-_G6K8&feature=youtu.be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UkAGYA4T_A&feature=youtu.be

Rachel Hodgson

My mam bought me one of those frying pans that are solely for cooking pancakes because they have a flip lid attached. Anyway I put too much batter in the pan and when I flipped it it leaked out of the sides and all over the electric cooker. When I eventually got the right amount of batter in the pan, I flipped the pancake successfully, only to have it slide out of the pan and onto the floor…

Pancake recipe (basic):

1 egg

50g plain flour

A dash of milk.

Toppings/Fillings:

Sugar and mik

Lemon

Jam

Chocolate spread

Golden syrup

Golden syrup and bacon

It all depends on what mood I’m in really- my favourite is nutella, you spread it across the entire one side of your pancake and then roll it up. Its amazing!

Sometimes I do mix the recipe up a bit and put cinnamon into my batter, it’s lovely. Although I enjoy putting cinnamon in everything if I’m honest…

Amber Caul

I went through a pancake phase when I was thirteen, and after spending a few weeks raiding my mother’s cupboard, this is what emerged: the multi-coloured pancake. It’s silly, simple and versatile, which is why it’s still one of my favourites. (Note: This batter is for small and thick American-style pancakes.)

Ingredients:

4 oz plain flour

Pinch of salt

2 eggs

200 ml milk

50g butter

Handful of hundreds-and-thousands

Your choice of toppings

Method:

Sift the flour and salt into a bowl, making a well in the centre and cracking the eggs into it. Whisk in the milk before adding the hundreds-and-thousands and stirring again. Fry the butter on a high heat and carefully pour the mixture in the frying pan to form a thick, multi-coloured pancake. Ideally, serve with other childhood treats such as vanilla ice cream and a Cadbury’s flake.

Roisin O’Connor

Because most of my childhood holidays were in France, I had my first proper crêpe (traditional French pancakes) when I was about six or seven years old. Back then my favourite was a crêpe au chocolat, but now I’m very fond of the crêpe Normande, which is essentially a pancake smothered in calvados and then set on fire. You can’t go to Normandy without trying one!

For the crêpes:

250g flour

3 eggs

250ml milk

250ml water

2 dessert spoons of olive oil

pinch of salt

Sieve the flour into a large bowl. Make a well in the centre and add eggs and salt. Mix well. Whisk in milk and water. Add the oil and leave to stand, at room temperature for at least an hour.

For the filling:

40g butter

2 apples, chopped

40g caster sugar

1 dessert spoon of crème fraîche

6cl calvados

Method:

Melt the butter in a pan, add the apples and cook over a high heat. Add sugar and mix until dissolved before adding to the crêpes with a dollop of crème fraiche . 

Heat the calvados in a pan, pour over the crêpes and light a match to it!

So what do you think, are you going to try any of these beauties? Let us know how your day goes and how many pancakes you end up making!

None of us need be reminded of the harsh economic times we live in. Neither do we need to be reminded that this has had an effect on just how much a degree is worth. After all, we hear almost every day about how leaving university is such a daunting prospect, and how finding a job will remain to be a challenge; even with a degree under your belt. Yet it goes without saying that some degrees will pave the way to a job far more easily than others.

Any of the variants in engineering offer a year out in a certain industry which can often result in an offer of permanent employment once the student has graduated. But what about other students in Arts and Humanities subjects?

Unfortunately, due to the success of science and medical pursuits, denominations of this area are somewhat neglected in terms of funding and we have already seen a decline in facilities for the support of Modern Foreign Languages, History and Classics, and English Language and Literature in universities.

I spoke with Alina Flint, 18, studying Egyptology and Classics, to find out if she had any reservations for her future. Despite the barrage of negativity she and her fellow students face, she remains confident that she will find a job after graduation. Aware of how many graduates go on to find a job totally unrelated to their course in university; she went on to tell me how she wanted to pursue a career in the film industry, despite the fact that her final degree is only a small portion of this pursuit.

Alina plans to take full advantage of Swansea University and the many extracurricular activities it offers, so when it comes to writing a CV, her degree will not be her sole selling-point. She believes that ‘it is better to be in higher education than it is to leave after A-levels and remain unemployed’. A rather defeatist viewpoint, I thought, but she countered by saying: ‘if no one aspired to attain a good degree, there would be even more unemployment’.

Is Alina right to consider her university degree only as a small portion of the road to success? Writing for The Guardian, Lucy Tobin suggests that this attitude is a necessity in the current climate.‘The savvy generation knows that organising a new venture themselves, early on in their degree course, will look much better on a CV’, she wrote.

This comment just goes to show that, in wake of the recession, graduate employment has become massively competitive. While there was a time when it was enough to have a degree, the average student now needs to gain life experience before employment, which is proven by extra-curricular activity.

Stephen Marshall studied History and Politics for his degree and is now studying a Masters in Public Policy. He is all too aware of this rule of thumb when it comes to gaining life experience through other activities and ventures. He has stood up in parliament to argue how much better a commonwealth country can save energy and has even met Arnold Schwarzenegger while he was still governor of California. So it’s fair to say Stephen has seen his share of ventures in the name of boosting his CV.

When it comes to different level degrees, he believes a 2:1 is adequate but there are far too students who achieve this, and that the 1^st degree tend to be more highly sought after by employers. In agreement with Alina, he advises that if you are one-such student leading up to a 2:1, it is all the more important to get involved in extra-curricular activities at university. This is so much the case that due to our changing times, a degree should offer these ‘life experience’ activities as part of the course. If engineering courses offer a year out in industry, why don’t Arts and Humanities?

On the subject of finding a job, I was told that Jobseekers actually care very little for degrees and focus more on our developing rule of thumb that a great degree will be worth far less if coupled with inexperience.

Trisha John and Becca Vaughn from the Swansea University Careers Office believe employers do indeed look out for proof of initiative. If a candidate has experienced many different extra-curricular activities, this will show in their body language and confidence throughout the interview process. Asking for hints about interview tactics, I was told a lot of information is actually available on Blackboard.

They also went on to explain how it is important to know the company you’re signing up for, and also to be aware of the market competition. In most cases, if a student wants to pursue a career in any job, appropriate volunteer work locally is a good place to start. After some experience is gained, that student can confidently broaden into the wider world. In closing comments, Becca Vaughn made sure to say that it is never too early to get onto the job market and to get noticed. She believes ‘Success is like a snowball effect. The more people you meet, the larger your network of resources’.

After researching this topic shrouded in negativity, I was surprised to receive mostly optimistic feedback. Is it possible that the media warns us of all the harsh competition in an attempt to get us to work harder? It is evident that simply having a degree is no longer enough as it may well be swept up in the torrents of other desperate jobseekers. Of course, to counter this, a student needs to be able to say more for themself. They need to be able to say confidently ‘I did this’ and ‘I did that’ so that the interview is not solely focused on a three year course. As I was told at the careers office, it’s never too late to get out there and get noticed.

Do you have any tips for students looking for employment after graduation? Leave a comment, or email thesirenswansea@hotmail.co.uk

The Boxer Rebellion

Who?

An “international indie band”, that formed in London in about 2001.

What?

An example of one of the worst spates of bad luck for any one band. A burst appendix for singer Nathan Nicholson prevented a tour with The Killers, and the collapse of record label Poptones came two weeks after the release of their début EP. Luckily they seem to be back on track, appearing in the film “Going the Distance” as well as being on the official soundtrack.

Sounds like…

Cold War Kids, Tired Pony, The Stills, etc. Dark and mournful.

Where can I listen?

Their latest album Cold Stills came out in 2011.

Film

Sense and Sensibilty

 Who?

Kate Winslet, Tom Wilkinson, Emma Thompson, Hugh Grant, Alan Rickman, and Hugh Laurie.

What?

One of many period dramas, but one that doesn’t take itself quite as seriously as Pride and Prejudice- Sense and Sensibility retains more of the humour and satire from the original Austen novels.

Looks like…

Alan Rickman is the new Mr Darcy.

Where can I watch?

It crops up on Film 4 every now and again, otherwise you can get a copy of the DVD from Amazon for about £3.

Literature

The Tiger’s Wife

Who?

Belgrade-born Téa Obreht’s first novel that made her the youngest-ever writer to win the Orange Prize for fiction.

What?

Set in an unnamed Balkan country, both in the present and half a century ago, Obreht describes a young doctor’s relationship with her grandfather and the stories he tells her.

Looks like…

Obreht was completely deserving of the Orange Prize for a brilliant combination of vivid language and a fantastic plot.

 Where can I read it?

It’s currently on sale in Waterstones for for £4.79.

Events

Jon Gomm @ The Garage

Who?

Jon Gomm, the singer-songwriter who got a shout-out from Stephen Fry. Should tell you something about how good he is.

What?

Exactly what it says on the tin. He’s performing at The Garage on Saturday from 8pm, with support from James Stabler and Ben Eakins.

How do I get in?

£5 on the door, but it might be a good idea to book in advance.

Comprised of nine members (three on horns, two on sax, one on keys, one on bass and the lead singer on guitar); Clusterfunk brought originality to the stage with all of their own songs- two of them were even sung in Yiddish! I managed to catch up with the band’s keyboard player (Dav) before the gig started to find out his thoughts on their very first performance. Although he looked a little apprehensive, (I can’t say I blame him), he was excited about the gig.

The band opened with a cover of “In the Hall of the Mountain King”, which both confused and excited the audience in equal measure. Whatever I expected of the band through my past experiences of seeing various ska bands live, it wasn’t for them to open up with a cover of a classic orchestral piece.

Having only been together for a couple of months the bands set list wasn’t very long. However what they lacked in quantity they more than made up for in quality. The band had an amazing amount of energy throughout their performance, an energy that inspired around thirty people onto the dance floor, with at least ten of them instigating a small mosh pit at the front of the stage.

Personally my favourite songs were the two that were sung in Yiddish as they had a similar kind of folk/ska character that the gypsy punk band Gogol Bordello. Regrettably since I don’t speak Yiddish they could have been singing about how they prefer cooking their eggs for all I know…

Although the temperature in the bar was something to be desired, although we were underground so I shouldn’t be surprised really, the night was excellent.

For any of you who missed the opportunity to see Clusterfunk, they’re playing again at The Garage on the 2^nd March. Come along, bring your friends, and you can all help me search for their Tardis, as I was told they have one.

Banter. Bants. Bantaaa. Banterrific. Bantersaurous Rex. Bantalope. Lad. Top Lad. True Lad. Uni Lad. LAD: “Lad culture” has been seeping through the cracks in society and making its way on to your computer screen in the form of websites such as “Uni Lad” and “True Lad”- the latter of which helpfully identifies a “LAD” as “a british [sic] phenomenon; beer chugging, banter loving, footie watching, womanising man”.

True Lad: “The Home of Lad Banter”

Lad culture took off in the early nineties as a reaction to the post-modernist transformation of masculinity and the “new man” culture; with the “lad” as a middle-class figure choosing to espouse attitudes usually attributed to the working class. With a twisted sense of irony, “lads” took up an anti-intellectual position; favouring drinking, violence, and a pre-feminist, misogynist, homophobic, racist attitude that saw women both as sex-objects and as creatures from a different species.

-           “to the LAD who was interviewed by newsbeat on radio 1 about religious beliefs towards homosexuality… He came out with the line “the bible says Adam an eve not Adam and Steve!”. U sir are a LAD”

-         “out in Manchester for my mates birthday and I end up smashing his flatmate (7/10) I told him the next day to which he said “hahahahha yeah she’s a whore mate” I replied “yeah she was pretty easy” he then stops laughing, looks me dead in the face and says “no, she is an actual escort.. its her job..” gotafreebieLAD”

Quotes from the site “True Lad”, where homophobia and sexism are re-branded as “banter”. 

If you don’t laugh at “lad banter” then by default you lack a sense of humour. Because you don’t find jokes about women belonging in the kitchen or deserving to be raped absolutely hilarious; you’re a “fun-killing slut” (or similar) who can’t take a joke, and who doesn’t get that “it’s supposed to be ironic”.

This is where I get confused. The whole thing is swathed in so much irony that it’s impossible to tell if the “lads” are being sarcastic or not.

Because I don’t laugh at these jokes, and (even worse) because I’m a feminist, I must hate men, correct? Not at all. Actually, it’s more to do with the fact that I don’t hate myself, and similarly don’t feel the need to take an entire gender and submit them to a constant routine of offensive “humour” to reassert my own sexuality.

“Proof women don’t understand freedom of speech and banter.”

This gem came from Andy, who left a comment on the apology released by the Uni Lad site after the piece about rape.

The thing is, the temporary closure of the Uni Lad site has absolutely nothing to do with “freedom of speech”. People have the capacity to say whatever they like, but does that mean they should? And if that was the case, then Uni Lad surely would have ventured past the old string of jokes about raping women and into a new theme, say… paedophilia. Because that’s just “banter” as well, isn’t it? You could just recycle the rape jokes and say the kids were asking for it. Right?

Wrong. Because the Uni Lad demographic only want to read something they can justify with the line “it’s only a joke, babe”. And of course, rape is so much funnier than paedophilia.

1. “A girl may like anal sex because it makes her feel incredibly naughty and she likes feeling like a dirty slut. If this is the case, you can try all sorts of humiliating acts to help live out her filthy fantasy.”

2. “There’s a certain way you can tell that a girl wants to have sex… The way they dress, they flaunt themselves.”

3.“85% of rape cases go unreported. That seems to be fairly good odds.”

Can you tell the difference between a quote from a convicted rapist discussing his crime and a lads’ mag? Because I certainly can’t.

A study in 2011 discovered that many find it nearly impossible to differentiate between quotes from lads’ mags and rapists. And in case you couldn’t work it out: the first one is from a lads’ mag, and the second was said by a convicted rapist. The third was the joke on Uni Lads that caused enough controversy for them to close the entire site for a few weeks, presumably to write more, perhaps just slightly less offensive jokes, ready for when the site is back online.

I definitely don’t think all male students are like this. If anything, it’s a small minority who feel they have to compensate for their lack of wit and intelligence by reading online sites created especially for that very problem. My housemates, for example, are fantastic. There’s a gender imbalance: two girls and four boys- but we all manage to have a laugh whilst maintaining that boundary between humour and bullying. This is actually the original definition of the word “banter”- a conversation with friends you are comfortable enough around to make and take jokes without being offended.

Banterrific: Merchandise sold on the Uni Lad site. The “Keep Calm, It Won’t Take Long” shirt was discontinued due to complaints.

“Banter” seems now to have evolved into a word that can justify anything from jokes about female referees to a t-shirt sold on the Uni Lad site that said “Keep Calm, It Won’t Take Long”.

I’m rarely shocked about any of the views expressed on sites like Uni Lad and True Lad, because it only takes a couple of clicks on Twitter, Facebook or Google to find a million other examples. In modern culture; jokes that focus on the abuse of women are the norm, part of the “lad culture”. In that world, it’s acceptable.

Online communities like Uni Lad contribute to the normalisation of this degradation and dehumanisation of women, and make it easy for its supporters to threaten women with violence when they object, because they’re supported by the view that women are disposable objects. Say anything against “the lads” and their “culture”, and you’re attacked for having a voice and daring to use it.

For: Amber Caul

Those born in the 90’s will remember the Halloween-themed children’s film ‘Hocus Pocus’, and perhaps even recall the little exchange between the principle characters at the beginning of the film – one claiming that Halloween was invented by the candy companies, the other arguing that it’s based on the old Hallows Eve traditions.

With Valentine’s day, it’s a little bit harder to argue that it’s based on ancient customs because ‘St. Valentine’ was a Christian martyr (and we’re not even entirely certain which one at that), who probably wouldn’t approve of us using his name to sell saucy underwear and gorge ourselves on chocolate. Yet almost every holiday listed in the calendar (Christmas, Easter, etc.) is guilty of this escalation of ideas, so the argument that it’s purely for economic gain doesn’t really convince me. I’m much more interested in how it’s come to be understood by the collective mind of society, and let’s face it; for the most part the majority of people in the UK seem to be getting more cynical of “V-Day” by the year.

However, some people will buy into it whole-heartedly. I’ll always remember my grandmother’s tears as she would proudly place yet another flamboyant card from my blushing grandfather on the mantelpiece. Yet as a generation we’ve become rather cocky – these days everyone’s aware of those “brain-washing adverts” and the (wait for it) dangers of “conforming to the masses”. I hear people come out with the same phrases every year: “Why can’t you show your love all year round? I don’t need a box of chocolates to convince me.”

Well… of course. It’s that simple: you don’t. I can only repeat the same argument I use on Mother’s Day: it is a day dedicated to love, and there is no tragedy in that.

In an ideal world, people would have the time to dedicate a few moments of their day to their loved one. Unfortunately, the majority of people live busy, distracting lives that only allows for quiet, often unrecognised feelings. It doesn’t seem such a crime to me that on one particular day millions of people come together to bring their hectic lives to a standstill – and demand that that be done in the name of love.

On a more personal note, considering I’ve just come out of a long term relationship so close to the day in question, you’d think that writing this would be the hardest game of Devil’s Advocate I’ve ever had to play. To be quite honest, I’ve never been one to mourn singleness on Valentine’s Day. After all, I wouldn’t spend a friend’s birthday wishing it were my own. If Valentine’s Day truly belongs to lovers alone, then I shall think of all of the couples I know and wish them happiness.

Besides: don’t need a day to celebrate your love? Well, we don’t really need a Pirate Appreciation Day either, but you don’t see people sporting pistols and eye patches for the other 365 days of the year.

Against: Rachel Hodgson

Valentine’s Day. February 14th. The day that makes couples feel compelled to buy their partners stereotypical gifts of flowers, chocolate and ugly stuffed toys and often leaves single people feeling morose. As Valentine’s Day approaches I can’t help but think that John Paul Young got it wrong: Love is not in the air. It’s in the street, shop windows, advertisements and numerous shopping websites. Being a Barbara Streisand fan myself, I’m of the personal belief that her music should only be played under the correct conditions. I don’t think ‘Woman in Love’ blaring out of the speakers in Clinton Cards on a Tuesday afternoon are said correct conditions. As I venture into various other stores around Swansea as the dreaded day looms closer I start to feel what I imagine Cupid feels when he wakes up after a heavy night out – there really is such a thing as “too much pink”.

I imagine some will think it’s a cliché but I honestly do believe Valentine’s Day is all about consumerism. The emails I receive from various businesses throughout February are highly amusing and only serve to cement my belief that Valentine’s Day is an overrated holiday designed to squeeze as much money out of an impressionable society as possible. HMV advertised ‘Valentine’s Day gifts for the one you love’, Amazon had a ‘special Valentine’s Day promotion’ on Kindles, and PayPal offered me 15% off Valentine’s lingerie and other great offers for [me]. Even the company I have my phone contract with were offering ‘Valentine’s Day specials.’

When you research the origins of Valentine’s Day it’s hard to understand why we even celebrate it in the manner that we do.  Valentine’s Day originally marked the day when two Christian martyrs, both named Valentine, were honoured for their services to God and the Church. There are absolutely no romantic elements attached to these two saints. It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly when Valentine’s Day began to be celebratory day of love. The first recorded romantic association with Valentine’s Day is that of the ‘Parlement of Foules’ in 1382 written by Chaucer.

Realistically, in my opinion, it would make more sense to celebrate St.Dwynwen’s Day as a national holiday. Dwynwen is the Welsh patron saint of lovers and is celebrated throughout Wales on January 25th. Though to be honest, although she manages to get God to grant her the wish that he meets the hopes and dreams of true lovers, she doesn’t exactly get a happy ending herself. Tormented by the knowledge that her father has arranged to have her married to a man she does not love she rids herself of her memories of the man she truly loves and vows to never marry, and instead devotes her life to God. I don’t know about you, but neither one of these stories stir up fuzzy romantic notions of novelty plush animals and spelling out my love for my partner in chocolate: which is one of the things Thornton’s is offering this year, by the way.

I don’t understand what it is that makes February 14th, for some couples, the day they have to suddenly express to each other how much they care for one another. Some couples I know don’t take the holiday seriously, yet they still buy each other small gifts so as to acknowledge Valentine’s Day, which is a ridiculous notion within itself. Valentine’s Day also puts an un-needed pressure on couples to try and find the ‘perfect gift’ for their partner. It’s a bizarre, and in my opinion, a redundant holiday that I imagine I will continue to mock and treat with disdain for many years yet to come.

What do you reckon? Is Valentine’s Day a reason to celebrate or does the thought of all those cuddly toys and flowers make you want to puke? Let us know, and get involved in the debate!